I’ve wanted to write for awhile, but as usual- time and energy to sit down and type, regardless of inspiration, elude me.
It’s been several months since I’ve written last. The last several month have been full of changes. It seems like if not daily, definitely weekly, things change drastically for me- and I am just settling into a steady forward pace now. The winter was a drawn out phase of what felt like being blocked at every corner. I know that I am not the only one who felt.. stuck.. this winter. Emotionally more then professionally or otherwise.
Professionally, the winter was fairly positive. After Florida, I began really bumping up my bookings here at home and found myself in a phase of saying yes to everything I could career wise. This lead to great opportunities, and set me up for where I am at now. There were many stressors, and this all contributed to the steady, slow motion crawl to where inevitably I was supposed to end up.
For reasons I won’t get into online, I am re-doing my nationals this summer. Unfortunately not because of any issue in my original performance. Reasons aside, this experience taught me that the certification does not define me as an individual, or a professional- and hasn’t hindered me in any way. This was a great lesson to learn. This, of course, took me through a barrage of emotions. I won’t say I’m completely over the bitterness, but I can say that I know myself better as a professional and yet again adversity has taught me some valuable lift lessons… and almost empowered me in a way.
By the end of winter things that were jammed up and stuck began giving way. Emotions and intuitions I’d suppressed in order to stay comfortable came to the surface; making staying comfortable impossible. This manifested into huge energy issues and started to affect my work and motivation. Physically and mentally I shut down- which began the spring cleaning phase after the dark winter months.
With all this moving and shaking going on for me mentally, things started to change and break free. By the end of March, I found myself viewing the perfect apartment, getting it, and beginning to move out on my own. The decision to do this alone seemed to be a catalyst for so many other positive changes. My business flourished, to a point where it is now close to being my main focus- which means beginning to cut down on part time supplements.I signed up for Precision Nutrition’s Level 1 Nutrition Coaching certification, giving me another thing to delve into. I was granted Professional Membership with the Canadian Kinesiology Alliance. I began a new partnership in my home town, which has already filled the days I wanted filled out there- within days of beginning marketing. I get offers weekly for other opportunities around the province. My energy came back, as did my motivation. My clients and friends noted this almost immediately. I started to feel a little more like myself.
It’s funny how everything happens in exactly the timeframe it does. Looking back, I wasn’t at all ready to make any of these changes before I did. To the moment, almost, nothing happened until it needed to. Any earlier wouldn’t have been as developmentally useful- and any later would have lead to more negative emotional connotations (I think, anyway). The way things happened- I was able to change, but keep important relationships in tact. Stepping away from someone I thought I wanted to know in one context, to gain them in another. Letting go of the things I’d been holding onto, and seeing things in a new light. I got to be mindful about all the things I’d felt in the last few months, and was feeling at the time, and grow from each and every one. I still am doing that.. the emotional cleaning process is ongoing. That is life, I’m learning.
The only thing I’m waiting on now is my MSc. application results. That will be the next change, if there is meant to be one right now. Tomorrow I start officially seeing clients out of Empower Fitness in my hometown, in my own treatment room! The rest of the week I split my time between city clients, riding clients, dealing with medical retail and brace fittings at Liberty, studying Nutrition, and exam review. I’ve also begun riding again.. and that has been huge! I even jumped a course for the first time in 2 years this past weekend (I won’t mention in detail how sore I was the next day). It amazes me how my instinct came back so quickly- but I won’t quite compare it to riding a bike. Lessons with C have not gotten easier- but she still says the most random inspirational things out of nowhere.. Like “Just stay positive- keep looking ahead to the next thing!”. I think she meant keep my freakin’ eyes up and look ahead- but that statement could really be applied to most aspects of life.
As always- the learning continues! Until next time..