“All we ever do is all we ever knew” -The Head and the Heart
Flying always incites a new realm of possibility for me. What’s more invigorating then watching the world from above- on your way to a destination, new or familiar.
I’ve struggled with writing lately, on a personal level. Out of practice maybe. Lately my life seems to be in a constant state of change. I’ve unearthed a new restlessness in my soul- and this summer that restlessness has taken me all over the place- both physically and spiritually. From adventures around Manitoba with friends, trips to Calgary for Certifications (and reconnecting with school friends, and myself)– oh and I did certify! Virginia for what turned into 2 weeks of sitting with ongoing thoughts and inner conflict- resulting in a spiritual journey I was only half expecting, and a refresh I was much needing. And now, as I fly over the mountains in Colorado on my way to Long Beach for a much awaited conference (Perform Better)… 2 weeks before I take off for Nepal to trek the first Everest base camp (oops, impulse decisions)- I’m in the midst of yet another unexpected chance to sit with my restlessness and… enjoy it.
I reread my last post the other day, half in an attempt to spark some writing and half because it popped up when I was revising my page. So much of where I was still resounds in my heart- but so much has changed. It’s hard to say if I’m more at peace with certain things then I was upon writing in the spring- but I can say for certain I am at peace with other things. That’s the nature of this life we lead- ebbs and flows depending on the moment we find ourselves in.
Inner and outer conflict create space for us to explore and push our boundaries. Without that exploration growth is stunted.
The last few months, and mostly the last few weeks I’ve questioned this new level of restlessness (and I know my loved ones have as well). What am I so unsettled with? Why is my soul so desperate for the unfamiliar? I don’t feel that I have anything to run from, but also find more pieces of me when I am listening to the restlessness.
Maybe it’s not being unsettled that concerns me- perhaps it’s being settled. That’s not to say I am not extremely grateful every day for the things I have in my regular life. Rather- I am wary of falling into old habits and getting comfortable. At this point in my life I am more comfortable in discomfort- sometimes because it’s a distraction- but more so because it reminds me that all the little things, the nagging emotions or the every day habits- those things fade away and become less pressing when I follow the path my restless heart chooses. It’s a reminder that what we think are big problems rarely are in the turning of the world.
More thoughts and updates from California to come!