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http://katmahtraining.com/2017/03/29/i-need-to-lose-weight/

Posted by Katmah on March 28, 2017

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Spotted: me, at the office making paperwork look much more enjoyable than the reality 🙋‍♀️💁‍♀️

The angry red and purple stretch marks on my hips, breasts and lower abdomen are beginning to fade. After months of my body seemingly irrationally expanding, and forcing me to let go of control and then eventually take on new respect and responsibility for my body (and related “issues”)... things are changing again. Who will I become now? After months of being confronted with versions of myself I wasn’t sure I liked or accepted, it’s time to shift yet again. In a few months time I will be travelling back to an island that left me with more than a few ghosts from my first trek there. Faced with a new adventure to a haunted place I am yet again being asked to hold space for who I was and who I am becoming- all while staying present with who I am.

My weekend was a demonstration of an empath gone rogue. On Friday I assisted at a football game and we had to call an ambulance for one of our kids (everyone was okay in the end). Something helping stabilize on field for 30-40min while we awaited transport turned my nervous systems alarm system ON. When I got home I headed straight to a warm bath to defrost, and in interaction with my partner knew acutely that I was very dissociated from my body. Somehow I was spiralling to old shadows and anxieties, picking fights and completely overwhelmed by myself. I had no logical reason for that level of reaction, but my body was in its own process. Mind and body were disconnected. Trying to fall asleep later on was impossible- as I could only feel my heartbeat and my nose.. the rest of my body felt like a eddy of chaotic energy, roiling. After 2hrs of sleep I was up and heading to a teaching event. An hour into teaching I was called out to an accident that had taken place at the same location where I was teaching. Another ambulance call. Another extended period of time outdoors stabilizing a body and mind waiting for transport. This one wasn’t as jarring, likely because I had food in my system and a day ahead of me to decompress. Even then, on my way home, a car honking was enough to send me into tears. Days before both these events I witnessed a car accident less than half a block away from me and was acutely aware of how just simply witnessing that event took its toll on my nervous system. All these events on their own call for appropriate fight or flight response and decompression. As an empath, I am learning I need even more space and time to decompress. When decompression time is inhibited by our human nature (like on Friday when I tried to rush decompression in favour of sleep, prioritizing the next day’s teaching, and didn’t eat to settle like my normal pattern would be). I know many of you out there can relate. Chaos is always going to happen... my take home? Space + time are needed for our bodies to complete their natural reactions to the world.. It’s HARD to let that process happen. But it’s so necessary. ♥️

Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people. —— Carl Jung

Shout out to the AT powerhouse @jillreimer 👏 Proud to be working alongside her on the field 👏✨🙏 Athletic therapists are THE experts both in injury rehab and in sport emergency response. It’s our job to keep athletes doing their thing pain free, and a big part of that is effective fieldwork. This lady is 💯 and represents everything ATs can do ♥️ #athletictherapy #whateveryourfinishline

Have had this painting in my mind for daaaaayysss. Felt so good to get it on paper. What would you name it?

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