Tag Archives: intention

Intention and the questions no-one can answer

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I have this vague memory of driving to the city with my mom when I was 5 or 6 (ish). Being a typical kid of that age, I was asking non-stop questions, and when given an answer.. my response would be “but.. why?”. Whatever answer I got wasn’t enough to satisfy the questions I had in my head.

I’ve been feeling a lot like that kid lately. Though, my questions aren’t as black and white.

Last week I wrote about working on being at peace with things. One of those things is accepting that sometimes (quite a bit of the time) there won’t be answers for the questions I have. As someone who is fairly open with my personal dilemmas, whether it be via blogging or long discussions with those close to me.. it’s clear that more often the not, nobody else can answer or solve certain things for me. I’m rarely happy with the answers I get, anyway. The discussion can offer great insight and further opportunity for reflection, yes, but it won’t bring a clear cut set of directions or a guide to the next step. There isn’t a handbook for growing up, another fact both twenty-something me and mature, young professional me are equally upset about.

What does give answers?

Time.

Following gut feelings. Trusting intuition.

Reflection.

That’s what I’ve come up with so far, anyway.

What I’ve noticed is that life seems to put us where we need to be, if we are able to pay attention to it’s directions. Whether those places make sense or not at first, time and reflection allow for the reasoning and answers to become a little clearer. The directions for the next step are those subtle little gut feelings. The intuition is developed via those gut and heart guidances. It’s the learning to listen with patience that’s the hardest part.

I struggled at first when I began my University career and began falling in love with my profession with how I would have room in my life for two all-consuming passions. My sport and my career. I had two deep down feelings: I would have to give up one to be successful at the other, or I would have to find a way to make them both work. It took years for the answer to become clear. Answers I didn’t even know were answers until now.. where I am living the dreams of my past self.

As cheesy as it sounds, setting an intention on what you want in your life, and then going about your daily life- making effective and conscious choices that are best for you at whatever stage you’re at- can lead to you being where you wanted to be all along.

In a different example.. I spent a lot of years complaining and making criticisms on the way my sport (and many sports) are run. Yesterday I was voted onto the board of directors for my provincial association. My intentions (roundabout) for change and evolution in the equestrian sport came about in a way I didn’t necessarily predict, but in a way that I have a feeling will give me some interesting opportunities.

Choices. Change. Letting time pass and having patience. These things come a long with fear, frustration, disappointment.. but also knowledge, gratitude, joy. You can’t have one without the other. Positives cannot exist without the negatives.

Nobody can say what the future will bring. Nobody can answers the questions of your deepest desires and hopes. You can set your intentions in motion. You can reflect on what you’ve been dealt. You can decide how you’re going to learn and wait for the next clue. However you’re doing, don’t be blind to the choices in your control and the doors opening toward opportunity.

Philosophical post complete. Now for a quick weekly update.

As noted above, I am officially a part of the Board of Directors for MHJA. I will be running for the chair of athletic development, for which I am already brainstorming ideas for. February is here and I have a busy month of writing up my research and submitting it for a national writing award, putting together presentations for the seminars and clinics coming up quick in March, and a few other articles on the go as well. I’ve hit a great rhythm in my internships and in my personal life. I have at least two evenings off a week with which I actually take off. I even read a novel this week, between work and school.. “A Scientific Romance” by Ronald Wright (definitely a  must read!). This is probably the most sane I’ve been during a winter semester.. ever. At least I figured it out before I finished my degree, right?

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Making a suppressed rider happy

I’m realizing it’s not actually that long since I wrote last. And that this is going to be my second post today. And third this week. Awhaaa?

I guess I’ll keep it short then! Thursday I got to ride my old friend Sonny at Horse Connection, and our intention that morning was “Patience”. Definitely something he needs to develop a little more of.

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“Look at me, I’m so perfect!”

Lucky for him I match his stubborness play for play. The most significant exercise we did that morning, after putting him through his regular paces, was just standing still and “being” for about 15 minutes. Oh boy. 5 minutes in and he was thinking I should consider calling it home time. Oh brother, 10 minutes we were digging to China. Annnd then the mind games went in my favour and we stood still and relaxed for another 5 minutes. Then he got to leave the ring. I know. I’m such a slave driver.

After spending my night off Thursday accomplishing nothing productive (except for going to the gym for the first time in what feels like years), I was on strict orders from Emily to a) not take back my shift at work and b) NO SCHOOL WORK. So I wandered around with her for the evening. Friday, my busy day, went by quickly and before I knew it I was hopping around under the lights trying to keep warm, assessing concussions, and watching my underdog team win their semi-final game. We didn’t get off the field until 11:30, which meant I didn’t get to get until close to 3:30AM (coaching staff was very insistent the trainers join the “debriefing” at Tavern). This lead to a relatively unproductive Saturday. However, the weather was just too perfect to be stuck inside writing about the physiological and psychological effects of massage on a rowing athlete. I got some of my own physiological and psychological benefits by riding both my horses and heading out across the fields with Mom for the afternoon.

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Willard surprised me in a couple ways. For one, I was able to get his girth on without too much struggle (he is a little chubby..), and secondly, he hasn’t been touched since the end of August– so getting on him I was slightly apprehensive and ready for psycho-horse to emerge- but he was decently sane the entire time! He seemed equally as happy to be out and about with me as I was with him.

Felix! He is really starting to grow into himself (seriously, take a look at those pictures!). I haven’t been on him since Carman Fair in July, but mom has been riding him throughout the fall and I am so excited about everything to do with him! He’s developing a little bit more attitude, but for the most part, he is SO willing. His jog just floats, and his lope is gorgeous to sit. I wish it was spring so I could be on both my boys more often!

Sunday I got a little more horse time, this time playing the role of coach.

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Week to week, it’s so great to see these two improving and gaining confidence in themselves and each other. The past couple weeks have come complete with a few new challenges and speed bumps for them- all part of the growing process. I’m so happy to see the right instincts there and developing. It’s honestly one of the highlights of my week, every week, to work with these two.

The remainder of my weekend was spent working and finishing up my first (unfortunately not last) paper of the year. 12 pages down, god knows how many more to go! That’s my week in a nutshell. Things I’m looking forward to in the next week? Playing in the Investor Group Stadium (by playing, I mean hanging out by the 50-yard line and dealing with injuries)!

I’ve been managing my time like a pro lately, and really hope I can keep up with that over the next few weeks. Now, to work on sleeping!

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