The Katmah Experience

living and learning one day at a time.

A Unforgettable Year: 2020

As I sift through the endless stream of “good riddance 2020” posts on social media, I can’t help but pause and feel grateful for this so called cursed year.

A year ago on this date I likely couldn’t have predicted how far I would have come in a year. Do I say this every year? Probably.

One year ago I knew that I was about to embark on a dream vacation with my guy, my mom and step-dad to New Zealand. A dream return trip to the dreamiest country both myself and my mom have history with. What none of us predicted was that on returning home from that adventure we would be quarantining and facing a total shift in reality for the remainder of the year.

Another thing I didn’t predict happening throughout this year was how all the perceivable negatives would help me to thrive. As an individual, as a partner, and as a professional.

One year ago I was living with my boyfriend in a apartment with character (not to be read as character apartment, yes there is a difference), tonight I am writing sitting by the woodstove in our first home.

One year ago I was a little bit burdened by left over debt from more educational years (formal or otherwise), looking forwards to our holiday but also a little anxious about a month away from my income sources).. tonight I am reflecting on how quickly a year has shifted my material reality.

One year ago I was quite content to watch and guide other riders in bettering their relationship with their horses, beginning to dabble here and there with hacking out other’s horses when the opportunity came around. Now I have committed to one horse and am being challenged in building a relationship again with my own riding and partnership.

One year, a dream vacation, financial makeover, a new home, a new four legged partner.

Reading back on previous yearly reflection posts- every year has come with it’s own transformations and enlightenments but somehow 2020 has been the year that kept on moving and shaking.

I recognize that I, we (my close connections) have been significantly privileged in a year where many have struggled in more ways than one. For me personally I have not had many reasons at all to hold a grudge at 2020, though certainly there were times and moments throughout the year where the usual course of action only made things worse. 2020 was a year that defined pivot for me. On the whole the year made me grateful for all the times in my life where I’ve had to adapt and survive, no matter what. It was for those tougher years that I was able to discover what thriving means to me in present day.

There’s been more than one moment this year where I’ve sat down and realized that I am living the life I dreamed of a few years ago. One of relative freedom, of joy and of fulfillment.

To me this year was a year that asked questions, and not in a direct way.

2020 was so clear it was blunt in that the “normal” for us collectively had reached a breaking point, and things had to change one way or another. 2020 has tested our faith- not only in leadership but also in the bigger picture, in our connections and in ourselves. Some are likely leaving the year with only doubt remaining, while others have found new avenues and awarenesses to move them forwards.

Regardless where on the faith-doubt spectrum we lie, time marches on.

Heading into the new year a few key themes for me stand out.

I would like to explore vulnerability, which so far is being drawn out the more and more I work with my new horse.

I would like to continue my journey into spirituality.

I would like to continue setting the foundation I’ve begun with “thriving” in mind (vs the old model of surviving”).

What is moving you into the new year? What lessons are you leaving 2020 with?

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